I’ve been cleaning/reorganizing my room at home…. and I came across this paper on my desk…..

In my 2D1 class my first semester of my freshman year…. my professor always picked on me for random things… such as my “southern accent”.  Well one day as the class was debating about zombies… yea… zombies.  I mentioned how I despise zombies so OF COURSE the professor turned to me and told me that for MY homework… just me…. he wanted me to research about zombies and discuss with the class what I found out the next day we met.  Of course. 

And so I did it.

of course.

So this is my “paper” about zombies I actually typed up and presented to the class.

And he thought I wouldnt do it bahaha.

Facts:

• Zombies are undead creatures either by supernatural means or a virus
• They are after brains or just simply human flesh
• They move either fast or slow
• They are oblivious and relentless to pain
• Usually anyone the zombie kills or bites, becomes a zombie.
• There is no cure.

What to do:

• Obviously run. If it’s a slow zombie and you can’t defend yourself or outrun it, you deserve to die.
• IF they are after brains… Alcohol kills brain cells, therefore drink yourself stupid and youll be less attractive to zombies.
• Get a weapon preferably a shot gun but also anything witha  blade b/c you don’t have to reload blades.
• The only way to permanently un-animate a zombie is to destroy its brain either by gun shot to head or decapitation will work too.
• Don’t wear t-shirts or anything they can easily bite through. This is just stupid. Thick leather and motorcycle helmets will work.
• In case of a large group of zombies… get a combine. This is a power operated harvesting machine that cuts and threshes. Enough said.
• If you need a place to hide… go for either a place that’s high with limited access so its easily protected and defendable… or for the long run a Walmart b/c it only has a couple entrances to guard and it basically has everything you need.
• If you are bitten…. save everyone the time and energy and just take your life.

I still hate zombies.