One thing that I always find unique are dreams.  

Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve been extremely visual.  The way I saw the world was in a way I could never tangibly express which is why I turned to drawing and painting and making things.  Art has always been a visual expression of mine even if it wasn’t that skillfully great or even if it didn’t really make any sense.  Dreams for me come very visually detailed and sometimes so realistic I can’t get them out of my head for days, months, even years.  This dream in particular stood out to me as something more symbolic and personal than others. You can interpret it however you want, but this is just how I felt led to it…

Lately I’ve been reading the Word more than I have been and the other night before I fell asleep I could not help myself but get completely emotional because I just couldnt digest why God loved me so much when all I am is completely worthless, and I don’t deserve anything that he graciously gives me.  Then when I went to sleep I had this dream:

In the dream, I was with a boy, maybe around 10 years old and we were in a neighborhood in front of a house. 

He had an older friend or a brother with him and at first I was an on-looker but then I guess I was his sibling and we were going to his father’s house or “our” father’s house. The boy said that he would just walk there as if he does it all the time and his brother said he would race him… it was like this typical game as if they played it all the time where one would ride in the car and the other would run chasing alongside the sidewalk…. but I was on the sidewalk with the boy running with him and his father was there and he was running with us and picking us up and twirling us around and there was just this pure joy there.  

And then the scenes changed where I was in the truck with the father… and we pull up to the house and it was beautiful.  At least I thought so.  It was peaceful in the country and the landscape was beautiful, it reminded me of my home but at the same time it was nothing like my home and I started becoming emotional because apparently it was making me homesick.  I remember we drove past their barn and there were chickens everywhere and maybe a pond or a lake somewhere behind the barn.  And then me and the father start to get out of the truck and he stopped and saw I left some sort of sketchbook in the truck and he took a look at it and wanted me to explain some things I had sketched and so I did and he seemed pleased and told me what I good job I did and I thanked him and we started walking towards the house.

Then the scenes changed again and I was in this house with this family and I remember seeing a lot more people in the house and they were all just hanging out socializing and playing games like it was some sort of party or family reunion. and It was a really nice home, and for some reason I was there to stay with the family but I just felt like I didn’t belong there.  And right when I started feeling alone the father hugged me and I just stayed wrapped in his arms and I just felt like a small child again the way he hugged me and the way I felt safe with him.  …And thats all I remember.

When I woke up the next morning and starting trying to comprehend it all, I just got emotional again.  I felt like through the dream the Lord was assuring me that he loves me and is with me.  And of course to others it might sound ridiculous, but reading through Genesis and Exodus so far, the Lord many times would assure or show things through dreams to ordinary people too.  I felt like He was telling me through the boy in the dream that He will always be there with us whether we’re chasing after him or chasing after something else, He’ll never leave our side.  He showed me that we live in this world, and even if we feel alone, ultimately we feel and know that we don’t belong here and it doesn’t even compare to our real home in eternity.  I felt like through the scene where he looked at my sketchbook that my Father was either telling me that he’s pleased at the gifts and talents He’s given me because they’re his that he graciously gave me to use and He can see that it brings me joy, or a friend told me it might symbolize the Judgement Seat of Christ and the sketchbook was showing my works and faith b/c faith without works is useless. My friend gave me their input and summed it up by saying that… “The point is, we don’t deserve to be in God’s House, but He accepts us anyway because he loves us in a way we will never fully understand.  No matter the burden you may bear, the pain there is going to be, Heaven is coming before you know it.  That is our resting place, but we cannot rest here.  We are not of this world. We are soldiers in a spiritual war, the race will come to an end and the battle will too. There we will have joy and perfect rest.”

Ephesians 1:5

John 15:18-19

Hebrews 12:1